Picture this: You’re in a room full of leaders. Some leaders command attention with booming voices and bold gestures, while others guide their teams with quiet, steady determination.
Which style is more effective?
You might be surprised to learn that neither volume nor personality determines leadership or communication success. What matters is something far more fundamental – and it’s what we’re going to explore today.
Breaking the Personality Myth
I am trained in a few personality style assessments like DISC, Predictive Index and Enneagram. All great tools but only give us some of the picture and never someone’s identity.
There’s a common misconception that assertive leadership is tied to personality type – that you need to be “extroverted” or naturally dominant to be an effective leader.
However, true assertiveness in leadership isn’t about how much you talk or how outgoing you are, or how powerful your demeanor. It’s about something far more fundamental: the ability to back yourself powerfully while maintaining an unwavering commitment to humility.
Finding the Balance – Personality V Insecurity
Many struggle with leadership because they haven’t found this balance. Some lack the confidence to stand firmly in their convictions, while others mistake aggression for assertiveness. The key lies in developing what I call “graceful assertiveness” actually it is how I define assertiveness – the ability to stand up for who you are and what you believe (backing yourself) while remaining open to growth and learning (humility).
Leadership Beyond Personality
This kind of leadership transcends personality types. Whether you’re an introvert who carefully considers every word or an extrovert who processes thoughts through conversation, you can be assertive in your own authentic way. The common thread isn’t in how you communicate, but in the underlying confidence and humility that drives your leadership approach.
The Courage to Learn
True assertive leadership means having the courage to say, “This is what I believe,” while simultaneously maintaining the humility to add, “And I’m open to learning more.” It’s about backing yourself enough to take decisive action while remaining gracious enough to acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers.
Leading by Example
The most effective leaders I’ve encountered share this quality:
- They stand firm in their convictions while remaining genuinely open to growth.
- They back themselves without becoming defensive.
- They lead with confidence while maintaining the grace to learn from others, regardless of position or status.
The Power of Balance
This combination of self-assurance and humility creates leaders who are both strong and approachable, confident and teachable. It’s a leadership style that inspires trust and encourages growth – both in themselves and in those they lead.
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